Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
