NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
