I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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