Dude my mom stole all your condoms
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
