I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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