so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
