I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
