You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
