Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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