well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
