I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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