is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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