i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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