what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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