HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
