You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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