it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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