whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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