So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
