...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
His hands were made for my vagina.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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