Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
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Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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