Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the day after is always just damage control
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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