fuck your aforementioned shoe
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
