Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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