He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
