TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
