We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
