Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
