we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
