i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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