I didn't shave. On purpose
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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