Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
