question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
