Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
