People in love make me want to vomit
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
