I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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