Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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