my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i will never coherently bang her
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
