Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
