You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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