Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
