chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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