I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
