I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
