He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
