So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
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It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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