piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
