There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
