i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You are a genius and a whore.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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