Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
