thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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