Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
