good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
