Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
