Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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