I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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