Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
