so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
