There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
